And we're down to one...

So today we officially switched to one nap.  We have been going on and off with the two naps for a few weeks now.  Some days he has seemed like he still needed it and other days it was just a complete fight.   After a late nap, bedtime was becoming a struggle and last night he was up in the middle of the night which NEVER happens anymore.  So today we pushed through the late afternoon and he was a bit cranky but nothing we couldn't handle and bedtime was a breeze!!  There was absolutely no crying and he was sleeping in minutes!  Hopefully that was the beginning of getting us on a great schedule.  It will be nice to have the extra time in the afternoons now and not have to race back home for naptime.

Finding my place

It has occurred to me that finding out who you are as a mom is a tough thing to do.  I was so consumed by Mark being an infant for the past year that it never really was an issue for me.  I was focused on his every need and on breastfeeding.  Now that he is officially a toddler...which I still have a hard time believing that he could be...I have started to look at myself again and think who are you?  It's amazing how much time and energy we put into our children and many times we lose sight of ourselves and what we need for our own self fulfillment.  I have always been a person who has kept myself really busy.  Whether is was in high school, college or in my career.  Everyone who knows me well knows that I take on a million things and somehow manage to get to them all.  I thrive on it.  Now that Mark is a year old and the breastfeeding has stopped I find myself having a lot of extra time.  I have started to consider what this means for me.  As a person who is constantly busy this is a difficult place for me to be in....

13.1 or bust

Well I made it the entire 13.1 miles today....it was a tough one.  I had my nike plus freeze up on me around mile 5 and then it started pouring out.  Of course I whimped out and ran home to jump on the treadmill and finish up there.  BUT  I did finish and did it in 2 hours and 20 mins....not bad for my first attempt.  That should hopefully put me around 4 and a half hours on marathon day.  After running a half marathon we went to buy Mark his big boy car seat.  We went into buy buy baby and man do they have A LOT of stuff!!  I had no idea there was so much baby stuff in one store.  That place put babies r us to shame!  We found his britx carseat along with a few other things and headed out.  He seemed pretty happy once in it...although I thought he looked a little confused :)  He looked like such a big boy sitting there finally facing forward.  Sometimes I can't believe that he's a toddler now and growing up...doesn't seem possible. 

This afternoon I did another cake and we babysit for a good friend.  It was a lot of fun to see the kids playing together and gave Shawn and I good practice for baby number two...someday :).  After a long day Im slowing creaking these tired muscles onto the couch for some much deserved R and R. 

Could it be.....

Could it really be two months since I last blogged?  Time seems to be slipping away from me like crazy lately.  Planning Mark's first birthday party was quite a time sucker but worth every minute!  We had a blast and it was so great to celebrate with peole we love.  He seemed to hvae a really good time and ate lots of cake...that momma spent days and days making!  I have been busy trying to get my cake business started which has thankfully been successful.   My training is coming along well...I have 13 miles to tackle tomorrow morning which is more mentally getting to me than anything else.  I have been keeping up with my miles during the week and am hoping that will help me get through the 13.

My new project in life is filling out applications for teaching positions.  I have been going back and forth with it for a few months now and finally decided to send them out.  Im still not positive if I can leave Mark but I figure that sending them out is only the first step and nothing permanent is decided.  Part of me really misses my career that I worked very hard for....the other part of me looks at Mark and thinks "how could you leave him?"  Why is it as mom's we have to make those kinds of decisions?  It doesn't seem fair....and I know...life isn't fair sometimes :)

Tough week...

This week was a hard one.  Im not sure where to start or what to blame.  Mark was up at the very early hour of 5am all week...which was the first strike.  I was exhausted and not thinking straight.  I found out that his crib was part of the Graco recall.  Probably worst of all is that I haven't been feeling well.  I have been getting that "head rush" feeling often lately.  I have also been getting headaches, joint pain and been naseous.  What gives??  I started researching it and so so so many of my symptoms seems to match up with a hypothyroid problem.  It all seems to make sense.  I have always been overweight....not fat but I definitely carry around more weight on my body than I should be.  I have been exhausted as far back as my memory will go.  It just doesnt make sense to me....especially at this point in my life.  I have given up drinking all soda, I no longer eat processed food and am training for a marathon!!  I should be feeling at the top of my game!  So I decided that I was going to call the dr and find out what was going on.  I go for my appt on Tues and am looking forward to getting some answers.  On top of everything I pulled the SAME muscle in my back that I have pulled countless times...so I spent this morning searching for a new chiro to put me back together again....I will see him on Mon night.   This being said I wasn't able to run this morning and that was frustrating. 

Motivation

I seem to have no motivation this past week!  I'm not sure what is going on with me.  I've also had two migraines in a week which I haven't had in so long.  I feel like I have been eating healthy and I definately have been getting enough exercise while training so I don't get it??  Someone suggested allergies which could  very well be.  I mean everything is blooming and the weather keeps changing so that may have something to do with it.  All I feel like doing every day is laying around on the couch reading or just being a bum!  Im hoping to snap myself out of it today.  I went for a run this morning and as soon as Mark gets up from his nap we are going for a long walk and to the park!

I also have started making all of Mark's lunches this week.  No more baby food for lunch!!  He is getting to be such a big boy :)  It's funny to me that he is feeding himself and eating actual food.  I still am in awe that he is going to be one year old soon.  It just doesn't seem possible :)

Junkie

Hi my name is Megan and I'm a technology junkie.  I admit it.  I can not live with out it....there I said it :)  I made it through Earth Day without any e mail, cell phone, tv, texting, or internet.  It was tough.  I thought that it wasn't going to be that big of deal...I mean people lived thousands of years without it right?  Spending the day without it seriously made me open my eyes to how much I depend on it and abuse it.  The amount of things that I was able to accomplish in one day was amazing.  I wasn't updating my facebook status, blogging, e mailing or texting.  I was able to focus 100% on my son and there is something pretty amazing about that.  Now mind you I don't see myself giving up my beloved technology...I just now see the boundaries of when I need to take a step back and appreciate what is going on around me.  About a million times on Thursday I was DYING to check my e mail...until it occurred to me that nothing there was nothing in my inbox that couldn't wait until Friday morning.  Mark and I had a great day together.  We spent the morning planting strawberries..which he loved...the dirt :).  In the afternoon we went on a two hour walk in the forest preserve with friends.  It was great to eat outside and look at the animals.  The end of the day was tough...I am used to relying on Sesame Street to get us through the end of the day...I know I know :)  BUT we played and colored and read books and we made it.  It was a pretty great day as a whole.  I would be lying if I said that I didn't leap for my i phone when I woke up Friday morning :)  It was nice to be "connected" again....but I did learn some valuable things along the way!

Disconnecting

So I have decided that tomorrow in honor of Earth Day I am going to "disconnect" for the day.  No e mails, internet, cell phones, texting, tv...etc.  I kept thinking about what I could do on Earth Day and it seemed like a great idea to me.  To anyone who really knows me knows how hard this will be for me.  I'm such a social person that this may cause some serious withdrawl LOL.  As I thought about it though it seemed like the perfect thing for me to do.  I constantly am connected with EVERYONE and don't give myself a lot of time in my own head.  I'm now actually looking forward to tomorrow and focusing on having a great day with Mark!  I think it will be nice to not have a ton of distractions that really can wait.  I will let you know on Friday how it goes!  Until then...

Rough Day

Mark has been sooooo incredibly whiney today!  He was up three times last night and then was up for good at 5:30 this morning.  I thought I was literally going to die.  I think it's his top teeth coming in but I just don't know what else to do for him.  I felt so bad for him last night...as he was nursing he was whimpering :(  He had motrin, a clean diaper and was nursing.  I have no idea what else to do.  He is just so miserable.  Im attempting to keep him busy while cleaning and doing laundry and that is quite a task!

On another note I was able to drag myself onto the treadmill while he napped this morning.  I made it two miles today!  I wasn't sure how my foot was going to feel so I decided to just do a short run.  I think tomorrow I will be back on the training schedule!  It's been so hard the past week to not be able to run and to know that I need to stay on track.

Reflection

I feel like every few months I start reflecting on how much has changed since Mark was born.  It's almost like every three months he becomes a new little person and we both have to find our way again.  Now that he is almost a year old it seems like another lifetime when I was pregnant and unsure of what life was going to be like.  I mean I knew I'd be great with kids...Im a teacher for God's sake :)  After 8 years of working with kids that I really cared about I never in a million years would have been able to imagine what I would feel for this little guy.  I feel like I have given 100% of myself over the past 10 months and it has been worth every second.  My family and friends have been really supporitive and that has helped a lot.  I am proud to say that I have now been breastfeeding him for almost a year.  We will start to wean soon as we near his birthday and that has caused some mixed feelings for me.  I love the bond that has occured from breastfeeding and that's "our" time together.  I will really miss having that special time when we are uninterrupted but I'm also really looking forward to having my body back.  Lately I have been getting some glimpses of myself and I realize that I miss me! :)  Part of me feels selfish for wanting my own time and for thinking about myself but I know that's not the case.  I know that in order to be a great mom I need to take care of myself as well.   The idea of starting my own cake buisness has been really exciting and given me a sense of accomplishment.  It's tough to get the ball rolling but I really feel positive about it!!  Check out the website if you haven't seen it already :)  http://nocache.homestead.com/hstrial-SweetOnMe/index.html

Back Again....

So I continue to go back and forth with writing on this blog!  I always want to write and it seems that actual months go by and I never get around to it.  I enjoying writing here so I need to make it more of a priority from now on.  Mark and I spent the day relaxing today.  I taught him how to give kisses and it's the cutest thing ever!  I love watching him grow and learn.  I constantly have to remind myself to cherish every moment...he is just growing so fast!  He was playing on the floor this morning and I kept thinking he looked so much older to me.  Every day is bigger and stronger and smarter.  It's an amazing thing to be able to watch your child grow and develop.  I just feel so lucky that I'm able to do that every day.